Please leave your name, number, and a brief message after the tone

When you call my office I have some rules for you.

1. Speak clearly and loud enough to be heard
2. Don't be mean. It's not my fault that the person you need to speak with is on the other line or out of the office. And it's not my fault that you don't like them.
3. Leave your name (spell it if it's unusual) and number.
4. Leave a brief message. Don't give me a thousand details to relay to them, because I probably won't be able to write it all down in time.

A normal day

I'm hungry for cupcakes. And ready to go home.

A misunderstanding?

My sister just called me and said that a place that gives away free baby stuff just called the house asking for my 17 year old sister. Yikes.

Ashes can't swim

When I die, I want my body to go into the sea so I can swim with the dolphins. Not my ashes, my body.

I should have stayed home today

There's some ruckus going on down the street. It's the kind of ruckus that involves state police helicopters and people yelling to "get down!"
I'm glad I'm inside.

What I have to tell myself

I like Hershey's Kisses better than real ones.